escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
