how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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