is your mom at the bar?
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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