People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
