i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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