Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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