I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
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You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
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I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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