Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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