Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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