the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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