i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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