it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
