It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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