It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
