i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
