Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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