I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
