Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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