Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
