So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
