Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
