Whod you bang
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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