That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
