who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
