I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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