So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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