Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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