guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
