I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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