dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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