We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
