I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
