yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
