yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
