Having a random hookup so left but love u
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
