She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
