my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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