Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
