dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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