Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
