There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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