his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
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Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
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You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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