Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize