Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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