opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
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Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
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i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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