you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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