Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
