I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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