my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
