Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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