Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize