wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
