The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.