You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
