He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
