a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
