At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It's just like the Real World with babies
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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