I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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