Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
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we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize