You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
